Millions of Mini Ameldashrooms
by Pearl of the Dark Age
Summary: Oneshot: Seto Kaiba has a nightmare.


October 14, 2007

**Millions of Mini-Ameldashrooms**

By _Pearl of the Dark Age_

Deep in the heart of a vine-infested forest where mulberry bushes grew, Seto Kaiba was lost. He stood there, completely confused by his surroundings. "There aren't any mulberry bushes in my garden," he commented, failing to realize that he was in a dream. "It's unnatural…" When one is in a dream, the world has a strange, twisted form of its own logic…

There happened upon him a hopping frog, brightly colored and sparkling green. He had his own bioluminescence that shone as a sort of lamp in the darkness. He hopped, hopped, and stopped right in front of Seto's feet. "I say if you are lost, good chap, you had best be going down that path yonder," he commented. A froggy forearm pointed to his left, Seto's right, and a path suddenly illuminated as if it had been there all along, marked by glowing fuchsia flagstones. "I saw Amelda go down that path naught but yester-yesterday."

"Amelda?" Seto replied, astonished. "Really? I wonder why…"

"By Jove," the frog replied. "I'm just an amphibian." The frog studied the brunette quizzically, and then asked tersely, "Are you a mushroom?"

"Not at all," Seto answered, a bit miffed. "If you think about it, Amelda's hair resembles a mushroom even more."

"True. I didn't even think about that..." With that last pronouncement, the frog hopped away, croaking about time-wasters.

"I've got to find Amelda!" Seto exclaimed, running down the mysterious path. He had no idea why he was so adamant on finding the redhead, for he had not seen him since he had lost his soul in their last duel. Or so he thought… Reasons were laughing at him, disappearing and popping up again like fireflies before his vision. He ran, ran, and ran, until he stopped. He had reached it…

A fork in the road. Stumped, bewildered, and growing anxious, he wondered if Amelda was safe. This was a dangerous place! Full of talking frogs and flesh-eating vines! He had forgotten all about the fact that he was lost - but now that he stood before the rascally fork, 'lost' was given a whole new meaning.

Both paths were identical; both paths seemed just as ominous. Seto chose the one to the left and then walked down a ways until he felt that it was a mistake. He backtracked and found himself facing not the fork from whence he came, but a tri-split fork facing the other direction! Seto gaped, feeling like a fool. There was a small part inside him feeling as if this could not possibly be real. Seto Kaiba does not make mistakes! Seto Kaiba does not get lost! Seto Kaiba was no fool!

Grinding his teeth, he turned around again only to find a wall blocking his path. It was covered in the flesh-eating vines with gaping, drooling flytraps with razor-lined teeth, which were hissing at him. Seto's skin crawled, causing him to step back and shake uncontrollably. He stepped on something, and it went "Ow!"

Seto looked down and saw nothing.

"Watch where you're going, you imbecile!"

The voice was surprisingly loud. Much louder than the frog's had been. Yet, Seto squinted.

He saw the tiniest of snails, giving him the evil eye. "Didn't you hear me?" It demanded.

"Sorry, yes," Seto muttered. "I did hear you, but I didn't see you."

"Figures," the tiny creature replied. "You're clumsy, that's what you are!"

"But you're a snail!" Seto snapped defensively. "How can you reasonably expect me to see you down there?"

"'Scuse me?" the creature retorted angrily. "I AIN'T a snail! I'm an _ostracod_! An' you nearly squished me! Good thing I purchased this indestructible shell…"

"If you purchased that," Seto smirked, "then I can't have been the only one to nearly have squished you."

"You're a cheeky fellow, ain't ya?" the ostracod laughed. "Well, you're right, but it ain't none o'your business!" With that, it creeped away, moving so slowly it would hardly be called _leaving_.

"Uh," Seto started, feeling the dread return to his stomach. "Do you think you could help me?"

"No," the ostracod said flatly. "Can't you see I'm in a hurry?"

"Well, as long as you are here…" Seto began, earning himself another reproachful glare. "Could you tell me which way Amelda went?"

"The mushroom?" The ostracod suddenly stopped, imperceptibly. "I wouldn't be followin' 'im," it muttered darkly. "You'll be courting trouble!" The ostracod suddenly picked up speed again, moving a little faster in its haste. It had barely reached halfway down the length of Seto's foot when the latter interrupted its speedy getaway yet again.

"But I need to know which way he went!" Seto exclaimed hotly. "I came this way, and now it's changed! I can't find my way around."

"Get a map!" the ostracod shrilled. "Leave me alone, you barmy knuckle-head!"

"Where can I get a map?"

"Oh for Katsuya's sake!" The ostracod continued onward, not stopping or looking back. "I hope the vines eat you!"

With that dire threat, Seto decided the little bug was not worth the trouble. He turned on his heel with half a mind to squish the impudent crustacean. Finding himself choosing the middle fork, he saw that there was a hut made of shiny grass up the path a ways. As he neared it, he saw that the grass was made of glass, and therein lay the explanation for the reflectivity. He eyed it darkly.

There were no signs of life, no one home. He rang the doorbell, which asked, "What do you want?"

"I'm looking for a map," Seto answered. "Or better yet, Amelda…"

"There be no mushrooms allowed in here," the doorbell admonished strictly. "So, you better get going lad."

"I need a map!"

"You won't find one here; we're sold out."

Seto punched the doorbell in reply. It groaned, spat out a few teeth, and the teeth got up and dashed away.

Seto stared at them, suddenly realizing he could follow them to a map! (Nightmare intuition?) He chased the running teeth, who chittered and chattered along – their language unintelligible. They took Seto over a marsh, a glen, through a meadow, over a creek, and down a bend into a ravine. They stopped and sat down suddenly, without a care in the world. Seto panted, unsure of just how far he had trekked. "This had all better be worth it," he muttered aloud, clutching a stitch in his side.

"By Jove," a familiar voice exclaimed from a rock nearby. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm still looking for Amelda," Seto answered crossly. "Or perhaps a map…"

"You don't need a map, chap!" the glittering frog said cheerfully. "I gave you the wrong directions!" Seto scowled at him as he felt his temper rising. "No need to howl, good sir," the frog chuckled, sadistically amused at Seto's torment. "I'll set you right this time! Rest assured!" He pointed to his left, Seto's right, and another path appeared.

"It's the same direction!" Seto yelled.

"Not anymore," the frog replied coolly. "This is an entirely _new_ direction!"

Seto glared at the frog and slowly wrenched his gaze and his thoughts of barbequing the annoying amphibian on a stick to the illuminated path.

It was golden this time, not the fuchsia color of before. "I suppose it is different," Seto admitted.

"Hmph!" The frog smirked, "Astute, aren't you?"

Seto ignored the frog and walked down the new path. It did not wind, turn, nor fork. The ghostly walls of transparent blackness seem to veil _something_ beyond. The sky was absent; Seto only just now noticed that. The walls seemed to merge together at some infinite point above, so there was no need for a ceiling of sorts. On, on, and onwards he walked, growing weary and whatnot.

A smell reached his nostrils, a sort of fungal smell of cooked… "Amelda!" He plucked up his remaining energy and ran flat out. The path seemed to go on forever, with no twists, doors, or anything to distinguish the ahead from the behind.

Seto burst through some invisible barrier into bright florescence, which contrasted heavily with the darkness. Again, no sky, no sun, and everything in this meadow had its own bioluminescence like the rude frog. Everyone except Amelda, who stood stock still in the middle of the swaying, glowing grass, hypnotized by fireflies.

"AMELDA!" Seto cried out, running and jumping, wrapping his arms around the still redhead. Seto held him tight, and his quarry barely turned his head to notice. Seto must have squeezed him a little too hard, for Amelda went _poof_!

Little white fuzzballs – so tiny that the eye could barely see, ejaculated from every pore in Amelda's skin. "Watch out for spores," Amelda warned in an offhand, mellow voice.

Seto said, "I still love you!" and hugged him again, squeezing tightly. He should not have done so, for Amelda went _poof_ a second time and disappeared entirely. Seto held only empty air, the ground at his feet littered with millions and millions of little white spores.

The spores stood up, wriggling and jiggling. They elongated and morphed into teeny tiny red mushrooms, with tops resembling Amelda's characteristic hairstyle. The millions of mini-Ameldashrooms squealed delightedly, fanatic with ecstacy! "I love you, too, Seto-kun!" they all cried out. They ran up Seto's leg, overpowered him, and brought him to the ground.

Seto found himself completely and totally run over by tiny, feisty fungi, bound and mobbed forevermore…

* * *

"_AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!_" Seto screamed, sitting bolt upright in bed. Sweat trickled down his skin, tickling like a million tiny toes. 

"What's wrong?" a voice asked from his side. Curious silver eyes looked intently into wild blue ones. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Seto gulped, forcing himself to stop breathing so hard as he stared at Amelda laying next to him. "Yeah…" he admitted reluctantly.

The redhead reached up and rubbed his shoulders in an attempt to relax him. "Go to sleep, my love," Amelda said soothingly. "In the morning you'll forget all about it."

"Doubt it." Seto shuddered. "Sometimes I wonder why I ever married you. You scare me sometimes, and not just in my dreams…"

* * *

Written for Silver-san and MOG-chan… 


End file.
